Home Stretch

I can’t believe it but the big day is almost here!  Today I report to the last of my pre-op appointments and in five days I will report to the hospital for my nipple sparing prophylactic bilateral mastectomy (wow that’s a mouthful).  The past few weeks I have really been trying to cram in as much time with friends and family, golf and horseback riding as possible.  I know I will be stuck inside in my trusty recliner that sits by my bedside so I cherish every minute I get to spend outside in the sunshine doing things that I love.  A few weeks ago, my dear friends threw me a “Boob Voyage” party at Costa Palm Beach, one of my favs.  I never thought I would have the opportunity, but I even had my very own boob cake, complete with nipples because, you know, we’re sparing those.  I got to go see a bunch of family in Missouri and I even went on what I am dubbing a “Mastectomymoon” at The Breakers in Palm Beach.  I think taking that little getaway is what really mentally got me ready to do this.  Spending quiet time with my husband before I essentially become his patient was invaluable to me.  So that is my piece of advice for today:  Visit friends and family and do the things that you love as much as possible as surgery looms closer.  In fact, that is just general life advice.  Why wait for a scary surgery to do that?

When I scheduled my surgery I talked to several women who had already gone through it and they all told me that as it gets closer you get this sense of peace about you and you aren’t really scared anymore.  I thought they were crazy and all the Xanax in the world wouldn’t be able to calm me down, but they really were right.  Over the past month I have run the gamut of emotions that you’d expect.  I started with crippling fear and anxiety that was replaced by mind numbing anger that this was happening to me, but I am happy to report that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you eventually make peace with it.  I do occasionally get the jitters but for the most part, I know I am doing the right thing and everything will turn out alright.  I am still majorly pissed about not being able to ride, play golf or go to the gym, but when you look at the big picture, this is 6-8 weeks out of my life in exchange for a lifetime of being worry free. So, I will rest and binge watch Grey’s Anatomy until I am healed and can get back to the fun stuff.

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